Having been the member of the London Cardinals Toastmasters‘ club for a couple of months now I’ve had the opportunity to watch several accomplished public speakers including a UK and Ireland champion.  I’ve done a couple of table topics - short impromptu speeches - however the dreaded “icebreaker” is approaching (booked for December 15th).  The icebreaker gives toastmasters the opportunity to introduce themselves to the club in a five minute pre-prepared speech which is timed, evaluated and will likely be delivered in front of an audience of 30+ people.

The standard of icebreakers I have seen so far has been pretty spectacular.  I think the general skill level within the club encourages members to go the extra mile.  And for that reason I have been wracking my brain for ideas and searching for good resources to help me out.  The kind of speeches I have most enjoyed (and most want to copy) are ones that tell stories that draw the audience in and have them hanging on every word.  Thankfully, as the internet has advice about everything in the world ever, there are some good resources to hear stories and get advice about how to tell them:

 

This American Life - has become an addiction of mine recently.  Each hour long podcast contains a selection of esoteric stories, loosely related to a theme.

 

Ira Glass discussing story telling on YouTube - Ira Glass, the presenter of This American Life, discusses what makes a good story.

 

The Moth - A performance venue in New York which has a podcast of recorded short stories delivered on-stage, live, without notes.

 

I’ve been busy writing an speech about the flat I lived in during my second year of university and the people who lived next door (specifically “Psycho Guy”).  Some funny stuff happened that year.  My main approach so far has been to unload all my ideas into Gmail and add to them whenever I have a flash of inspiration - but by far the biggest problem I’m having is deciding what details to leave out to give the story better structure and pace. I’ll post it up here when I’m done - and it will be filmed so if you’re lucky there may be some YouTube action too.

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Über-fest is usually met with a reaction of hilarity when I describe it to someone for the first time. People usually assume it’s an ad hoc affair with a cool name. They couldn’t be further from the truth. Over the course five years, five über-fests and five über-noëls the event has been refined over a foundation of tradition, stamina and an enduring friendship.

A brief history

Mr James Ricketts and Mr Andrew Smith met while selling extortionately priced foam cubes in their Young Enterprise company “Sandstorm”. Throughout sixth form evenings at the boarding house usually consisted of watching downloaded movies and episodes of Buffy, Futurama and Family Guy. Such inactivity and decadence continued into the summer after A-Levels. Frequent visits to the Ster Century Cinema in Cardiff (knick named “The Mall” - don’t ask), where the purchase of a single ticket could yield an entire day of surreptitious film watching. The following Christmas break on an extended visit to the Ricketts household Andrew managed to watch 15 episodes of Buffy back-to-back while Ricketts was at work. After several days of continuous American tv James suggested that we should repeat the event the following summer. The event would be dubbed “Über-fest” as we had spent some time discussing how the concept of the übervamps in Buffy season 7 may relate to Nietzsche’s über-mensch.

Routine and Tradition

Über-fest takes place every summer. The festivities consist of a day of films at the cinema in Cardiff followed by a selection of TV and movies in Breacon, usually requiring 4-5 days to watch. We can be sure the line up is going to be good as the selection is vetted at über-noël, a similar, but more experimental fest, held over Christmas.

The first Fest began with a day of films at “The Mall”, then back to James’ for four days of Jack Bauer and Captain Jonathan Archer. Many of the traditions were born out of this first event. An official quote (in this case a line from family guy) was recorded for posterity. The traditional über-fest breakfast of pizza and garlic brad was consumed daily. And our annual squash game took place (James always wins).

Other traditions have developed throughout the following fests…

Time passes in blocks of 42.5 minutes, the length of an hour long American TV show stripped of adverts. We call this unit of time an “ep”. Über-festers become very attuned to this temporal unit. Once, when the show Rome was introduced to the über-fest line up we felt that the show was running on far to long. It turned out that the show lasted 50 minutes and only 44 minutes had expired.

The official quote should be a funny line from a show we’ve watched or something hilarious that either James or I have said. The quote contenders are recorded in über.txt, a text file on James’ computer and then voted on at the end. The current list of quotes stands as…

über-fest 2k3: Put down the fork…FACE!
über-noël 2k3: What’s next? Hinduism?
über-fest 2k4: Faux Shizzle
über-noël 2k4: Park and Ride
über-fest 2k5: über-sweats, über-shits, über-wit
über-noël 2k5: Who’s Tapping Whom?
über-fest 2k6: Rock on, Rock the FUCK ON!
über-noël 2k6: More or Snore?
über-fest 2k7: Dude, these are some perfectly good neck patches we’re wasting
über-noël 2k7: Don’t be such a vagine

While this file still exists for the quote documentation of each event is now recored in a leather bound book called: El Tomos Übero, or “The Tome” for short. The tome also contains a tally of 24 and lost predictions (btw, James’ long term prediction for Lost is that the island is purgatory), ratings for each film we see, and some lengthy pros written while drunk.

Recently the participant who has demonstrated himself as the most über has been recognised with the title of über cum lade. The inaugural award was bestowed on James Ricketts as Andrew fell asleep during The Matrix. James was also recognised the following year for organising tshirts. The title of El Tumos Übero Scribe is also awarded for excellence in documentation of the event, however this is usually considered to be a consolation prize for those who haven’t achieved über cum lade.

On official song for the event may be chosen. Past choices include Laidback - Backerman, Thom York - Black Swan, James Rickets feat. Andrew Smith - Bakerman (The Pool farm sessions ep) and Superman Lovers - Starlight.

This Year

Üf2k8 is fast approaching. We will be watching season 4 of Lost, season 5 of The Wire and Season 4 of Battlestar Galactica. I think this is by far the best line-up we have had for an individual über-fest. All of the shows are quality and have matured over several seasons. Considering that the writers’ strike took place this year, I think we’re extremely lucky.

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One of my more disgusting habits…

While eating a selection of snacks I realised that my lack of a spoon would require me to get up an miss at least thirty seconds of TV. In a flash of inspiration a new method for clean and utensilless kiwi consumption was born.

Rather than use a knife, or any other sanitary cutting tool, use your thumb nail to make a small incision half way down the fruit. Using the same method extend the the incision until the skin is broken all the way around. Some tongue action may be required to prevent any stray drips getting on your trousers.

Twist each half in opposing directions along the central axis. This will break the kiwi in two. Each half should be orientated so the exposed flesh is pointing upwards, this will prevent drips.

The next step is to eat the kiwi by placing ones lips around the circumference of the exposed region then suck and squeeze simultaneously to retrieve the glorious payload.  Repeat for the second half then dispose of the spent skins during the next advert break.

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I don’t usually make new year’s resolutions. But around new year’s eve I was regularly attending Toastmasters and the topic of new year’s resolutions was dominating the speeches. I spent an hour, or so, creating a mind map of resolutions that I thought were achievable. I ended up with a lot. Most, however, were simple and required building better habits rather than doing anything off the wall.

Now five months on I think it’s time to re-visit them and make sure I am on track to actually achieving something.

“Continue going to Toastmasters and improve my public speaking”

Toastmasters is an international public speaking club. I started attending a club in Holborn in December as a guest. Unfortunately this was about the time when a whole load of other people decided to start going as well. Just as I decided to join I was told the club was full. After a couple of months on the waiting list they emailed me to say they would not take on any new members and I was removed from the waiting list.

Oh well. I’m on the look out for another club as I thought the few times I went were very worthwhile.

In the meantime I have been improving my public speaking at work by teaching a course, that I have now presented in five countries. I’ve also presented a seminar to my team and am presenting another later this week.

15% achieved. Fail!

“Read at least two hundred pages a week”

I borrowed this resolution from Tyler of Real Social Dynamics.

TV really pisses me off. I rarely sit down and watch a broadcasted program all the way through. I’ve caught snippets here and there when I’ve happened to be in the same room as a TV, but I’ve generally managed to avoid broadcasted programming almost entirely. Saying that I do watch a fair bit downloaded TV and films, but somehow I think on-demand is less mindless.

Instead I’ve been kicking it old school and reading books. I try to alternate fiction and non-fiction, as well as reading some of my unread books that have been gathering dust for years. Recent highlights have included Vernon God Little, Fight Club and Brave New World.

On average I think I’m hitting the page quota, although I’ve barely touched some of the classic texts that I listed on my mind map.

80% achieved - I think I’ll start maintaining a proper reading list to motivate me to read more.

“Run twice a week, and try running at least once before work”

An extremely common resolution is “do more exercise”, which I don’t think this is very easy to keep as it has no measurable progress or indication of how it will be achieved. My resolution was to build an excercise habit. I chose an exercise which could be performed solo without the need for gym membership or special equipment. I chose a frequency that I thought I could maintain.

Running twice a week isn’t amazing, but it’s not bad either. And I’ve stuck to it pretty well. I’ve introduced some interval training and pullups in Kennington park’s fitness trail. I’ve also entered into this year’s JP Morgan Chase around Battersea Park. I always let it slide if it’s raining, but if it’s sunny I find myself looking forward to spending some time outside and getting some exercise.

The “running before work” part was an experiment to see if I could build a habit at a time that would consistently be free of commitments. I have been out running at 7am twice, but I find it very difficult to drag myself out of bed.

75% achieved - Keep at it, it will be easier now it’s summer.

“Make maximum cash ISA contributions”

It’s all automatic so I don’t have to do much. I remembered to raise the standing order to £300 a month in April. I’m actually on the lookout for a good equity ISA at the moment as my HSBC ISA is pretty lame (I think it’s 4.75%).

90% achieved - I could find a better account.

“Buy a digital SLR and find a good photography blog”

I used to do a lot of photography back during my GCSE years. It was my “skill” for bronze and silver Duke of Edinburgh awards. Unfortunately I let it slide when I changed school and never got back into it.

Well now I have a Canon 400D which I got just before flying out to Bangalore. It’s pretty sweet, but I need to find more opportunities to use it. Sometimes I’m loathed to use it as I’ve started to associate DSLRs with the mass of tourists next to where I work.

Digital Photography School is the best photography blog I’ve found so far. Stumble upon is great for interesting pictures. I’ve also discovered that The Camera Club is about ten minutes walk from my flat.

49% achieved - Got the camera, now use it.

“Keep in better contact with friends”

I am particularity bad at keeping in touch with people. Throughout university I would never plan my social life in advance as people were always in the same places I was. I’m beginning to realise I need to make much more of an effort to maintain friendships with people. So far this year I haven’t done so well at this and my social life seems to revolve around an elite group.

20% achieved. Try harder. Again, now that it’s summer this should be easier. Pimms in the park any one?

“Program in my spare time”

There’s nothing like a degree in computing and a job doing C++ all day to put you off doing any programming in your spare time. However a frequent trait of successful technology startup founders, as pointed out in the Y Combinator Library, is that they are programmers themselves (not MBAs) productising a tool they’ve created for their own personal use. I’ve had a couple of ideas for tools I would like to write, and I would also like to experiment with interesting programming languages like Python or Processing. Unfortunately I haven’t done anything this year.

0% achieved.

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I’m going to drive across America.

Tony Robins has suggested that a good way of motivating yourself to do a specific task is to tell people about it. The discussion allows you to clarify your goals and gives your friends the opportunity to pester you about it when you begin to procrastinate.

The plan is that “The Chaps” will fly to the US of A, buy/borrow a car then drive for a month. The plan has enough grey areas and pre-conditions that it could easily fall through. In an attempt to prepare and motivate myself I’ll list what I think are the top three limiting factors that might prevent this trip going ahead.

1. Learn to drive. I think this is the number one issue. It would be unfair not to contribute to the driving. This is something I’ve been putting off for quite some time. It’s actually quite embarrassing that at 24 I still can’t drive.
2. Raise some cash. I don’t forsee this kind of trip being overly expensive. One testimonial I have seen suggested that $1000 per person would be enough. The biggest expence could be buying and maintaing a car for the month. Obviously it may be possible to recoup some money if we decide to buy - but it’s probably best not to rely on that. Another option is to drive someone else’s car. I’ve heard some companies will loan you a car that requires transportation from coast to coast; you drop the car off at the required destination and in return you get to use it for the entire length of America. It sounds a little bit too good to be true so I think further investigation is required.
3. Set a date. 2010. Way off yet, but I need some time to complete points 1 and 2 and arrange some time of work.

I think those are the only limiting factors. I think the route will work itself out, and buying a car is probably best left until we’re there in person.

I recently watched Dave Gorman’s road trip across America. There are certainly some aspects that I would like to incorporate into this trip. He makes some excellent points about the spread of corporate America. Starbucks and Wallmarts are popping up all over the place and have been doing so for about ten years. Independent businesses are being pushed out and American towns are becoming indistinguishable from each other and indistinguishable from European towns/cities. I think it would be sensible to avoid Corporate America as much as possible to expose ourselves to more authentic culture and diverse people. I think we could drop the “Only independent gas stations” rule though.

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